It’s funny to me how certain situations are brought into our daily lives and we have to take them for what they are. Well, I keep having the same situation happen over and over again. The names and faces change but I am always in the same place. So, with the most recent experience-- I realized it’s probably me.
Guess I didn’t want to tell myself the issue was something I was doing. But it’s been YEARS and it’s still the same thing. I have learned a little bit. I’d like to think I have come a long way. Heavenly Father has helped quite a bit! Just because I have come a long way doesn’t mean I don’t have a whole lot farther to go.
To be honest, I have no clue what comes next. I just know I need to change something. Maybe I just need to care less, be less invested, and have lower expectations. DO NOT get me wrong- I will NEVER lower my standards. These are two very different things in my mind. I sometimes have too high of demands and expectations of not only myself but of others. These people probably never even realize I have these expectations of them. So, they have no way of knowing when they don’t reach one. That’s not fair to anyone involved.
I always harp about how important communication is but when it comes to me and my relationships--I am the biggest hypocrite. Communicating with full honesty is terrifying!!! I realize when it comes to my relationships whether it be family, friends, love interests or even coworkers I have the same fear and I internalize most things until they build up to an unbearable weight.
I read a friend’s blog today about stopping and remembering what matters most. He was completely right as he spoke about how easy it is to get lost in hectic schedules and forgetting midterms and such. I am a key example of overbooking myself, which causes me to forget the things that really matter. I forget to work on my testimony or my personal growth; mentally, physically, and emotionally. I get wrapped up in work, future goals, and who knows what else- the cute boy of the week. :/ I say that jokingly but it’s real life.
The moral of the story? I am not sure. I am learning how important it is to meet new people, make new friends, and let go of the ones that are bringing you down. I love making new friends, learning about them and their life stories, their goals, dreams, and motivations. But sometimes the people we think are brought into our lives to be a true friend are really only in our life as an acquaintance for a brief moment. If someone isn’t making the effort to be a part of your life- stop trying to make it happen. It’s not meant to be if the relationship is one sided. A true friend will care just as much as you if not more to maintain the friendship or to even build one in the first place. I have just come to the realization that if someone doesn’t reciprocate my efforts, they DO NOT DESERVE A PLACE IN MY LIFE. Harsh? Yeah, probably. But why waste my time pursuing something as simple as a new friendship when it’s obvious they don’t care to get to know me. Cliché as it sounds, their loss.
Ah, what a jumbled mess of emotions. I know I shouldn’t write when I am stirring over so many different things but, here we are. I know who I am. I know where I am going. I know what it is going to take to get there. And I know, I am not letting anyone get in the way of that. The only people welcome are those that are going to support and help me get there.
It’s easy to forget important things so, here is to hoping I can remember the important things and let go of the meaningless things. Stop carrying the baggage you don’t need to carry. No matter how small it may seem, it is holding you back.
Glitz and Glam!
Amen sister!
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