Nov 6, 2013

Peace, Love, Misconceptions, & A Little Crush.

I thought the word "CRUSH" vanished after we left middle school but in fact, it is still very much there.

It's that phase where you don't really know a person yet, but you are intrigued by them somehow and want to know more.

I find myself in this situation quite frequently. In college you find yourself meeting new people everyday. When I was just working, I rarely met someone new. Since being here I have met hundreds of people. They cycle through and come and go but every once in awhile you meet someone you want to stick around. (They usually treat you like garbage and then leave. #notbitter)

I know very little about this guy I just recently met. He and I like some of the same things. I know the basics. Now what?! We talk every class. But that's not nearly enough. When the social norm is changing- some say it's okay for me to ask him to hang out. Some say it's never okay. How am I supposed to read his mind? Do I just leave the ever so little "well, we should hang out sometime..."? Then, what if he is too thick skulled to figure that out?

"He's Just Not That Into You" Has made it very clear... IF HE WANTS TO SEE YOU, HE WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN. I am well aware I am not the exception but I also know that every guy is different. He might just be super nervous or might not even realize I am interested.

I also love the philosophy:

"If it is supposed to happen, it will be easy."

Honestly- I feel the same way about this nasty chocolate as I do about that philosophy.

Can someone please tell me of a time LOVE was easy?!? Even platonic love is hard! Throw in opposite sexes and expect it to be easy?! I just don't know about that.

Moral of the story? I am not sure. Maybe I will figure it out someday. I don't see that day being soon. I thought I figured it out once... That blew up in my face. They told me to fall in love with my best friend. I did that. It failed.

Every single person is different. Which makes every single situation DIFFERENT. Your love story will be different from my love story- for your sake, I sure hope so.

I don't want this to come across as a sad pathetic pity me post. Rather, I want it to reflect my coming of age and recognizing where and how true love can form. Whether you marry your best friend or if it starts off with a little crush. We have to be aware. We need to ask questions. We need to hold strong and not settle. I don't have any of the answers yet... but that will come eventually. Especially, now that I know what questions to ask.

I also have a lot to say about the opposite side of the spectrum. I have drafted this next part of the post for several weeks. I wrote it. Read it. And realized it sounded really bitter. So, I didn't post it. Here I am. Still stewing over it.

For some reason it is constantly portrayed in our world that the guys are the ones who get "friend zoned" I am by no means saying that they don't, but I would just like to also look at the girls who constantly get friend zoned. It happens both ways, people.

Why is it suddenly guys think that we will automatically be in love with them. (NEWSFLASH- I DON'T HAVE A CRUSH ON EVERY GUY I MEET.) This misconception makes them be incredibly rude to any women they aren't interested in. As if to prove the point of their lack of interest. If only they could get off their high horses for just a second and realize we were never even interested. Most of the time they don't even measure up to our standards. Great friendships can still be formed in this part of our lives. We are young, single, and free of most limitations.

I have always been open to having lots of friends and the more I try to make new friends now, I stumble upon this situation over and over again.

Boy likes girl. Said girl is your best friend. Now what? He uses you to get to her. How many women out there have seen this happen or had it happen to you? The answer is uncountable.

What are we supposed to do? How are we supposed to go through school, building our careers, and just simply living life while they are sitting their accusing us of being over-eager-marriage-seekers?

So when the next guy blows you off because he doesn't want to waste time forming a new relationship- ignore it. Move on.

The sad reality- we will never find a way to convince them we just wanted to be friends.

Harsh? Bitter? Blunt? Yeah, probably. I just had a situation arise where I had been super interested in someone for a long time. He and I hung out, studied together, and goofed around with each other. We weren't dating. Then the 7 week summer break came and he just stopped talking to me. That sends a pretty clear message. So, we have been back at school for a couple months and he is just now realizing I am probably mad at him. Which, I am not mad at him. I just simply played his game right back. He started talking to me recently. It had been several months since we had talked. Naturally, I was a little stand offish. He hurt me. I didn't want to just let him back in. I was a brat. I am well aware. He's a tough guy, he can take it. The sad part is this guy could be a great friend. We like the same things. I have fun when I am with him. He makes me laugh and isn't afraid to pick on me. But, now we don't talk. Guess, it's my fault now because I wanted to prove a point. But, he finally got it.

Oh the games we play. I hate the game. But I can't seem to not play it.


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